I stopped just inside the doorway of the conference room. There were two men sitting at the table: my boss and my boss’ boss. [Aw crap.] Instinctively I reached behind me and gently shut the door. The moment I hit the chair the boss’ boss said, “So… we’re gonna have to let you go.”

Me: “K. … Didn’t see that coming.”
Boss: “I know. I’m sorry… bla bla bla…”

I didn’t hear much after that. There was the standard yada yada about the budget, nothing to do with my performance, they’d be happy to give me a good recommendation, bla bla bla. The HR lady stood behind me and “helped” me pack up my things and then walked me to the door.

I got home at about 9:30. I put the box containing my belongings on the coffee table. Sort of for lack of something better to do, I sat down at my computer, fired up the first job search engine I could think of and typed “AutoCAD”. After about half an hour of reading through job descriptions I stopped. I looked down at myself, still in my work cloths then back up at the screen, and… I think I might have said this out loud, “Why am I looking for a job I don’t want?”

I kept waiting for that moment when the weight of the situation thumps you in the chest and you just lose it. It never came. That was Monday and I haven’t shed a single tear about it.

Mom said that it had to happen this way. I had always talked about this job being temporary. That it was just a stepping stone to the next thing… whatever that “next thing” might be. Mom said that I never would have quit this job on my own. The money was too good. I pretty much had to get canned in order to move on. Yeah, that’s probably right.

This morning I sat down to make a list. The list contains all of the things that I have wished I could get done in the past few years, but always felt like I didn’t have the time: Finish the kitchen, finish the garage, clean out the attic, expand the garden… (just to name a few). I looked over the list to see if I’d missed anything. Oh, right: Update my resume and look for a job. I look forward to getting these things done, and I intend to… but… yesterday I went skiing and today I took my niece to the zoo and tomorrow I might go for a bike ride. Priorities.

So, Tuesday night was the inaugural flight of the new smoker. My wise sister in NYC, who has had some experience with this method of cooking, suggested that I try the thing out before the actual Meat-Fest day. You know, just in case. The good news is… it’s not Friday yet. Tuesday night I smoked a chicken for about 6 hours. When I finally took it out of the smoker, it looked and smelled AMAZING!! I had soaked the bird all day in bourbon brine and then coated it with Cajun seasoning before putting it in the smoker. Thick plumes of hickory smoke billowed from this little black box for hours. When I finally cut into it, mouth watering in anticipation, it was… completely raw. Completely. So I stuck it in the oven with the automatic meat thermometer thingy. The house still smells really good. The chicken is delicious! And… I’m bagging the smoker idea for the Meat-Fest. So! Plan B.

If only I had taken the time to formulate a Plan B.

I thought up a couple of good low-maintenance things to make. I pulled a 4 lb pork shoulder out of the freezer this morning. Just found a really interesting recipe for the slow-cooker that involves dried juniper berries and allspice. Beth just phoned that she found an 8 lb uncured, smoked, spiral-cut ham. HA! I couldn’t have done it better myself! I’m thinking of a honey/bourbon/peach glaze. And, I might be able to recreate the chicken experience in a slightly less painful way by throwing a few hickory chips into my grill and doing a few beer-in-the-butt chickens. Three 5 lb fryers ought to do the trick. I may stop by the Whole Foods and pick up a smorgasbord of flavored bratwurst just for good measure. So, between that and the 4 lb “leg of lamb of God” from my sister, the rack of beef ribs from Mom (two full cookie sheets worth), and a few other items that guests have offered to bring, I’m hoping that will feed everybody. Fingers crossed.

Don’cha hate it when you decide that it’s time for bed, only to realize that you are in the middle of washing your bed-cloths?

I was watching The Daily Show with John Stewart tonight. Stewart, usually quicker than most at pointing out Bushisms, showed “W” back in 2000 (during his first run for the White House) criticizing the state of the economy under the Clinton administration with a backdrop of a sign advertising gas at 99 cents/gal. Cheers! Flash forward to a few days ago with Bush giving a speech defending the current state of the union saying, [and I’m afraid I will have to paraphrase here] “America leads the world with strongest economy of any nation and we will continue to do so. America leads in alternative energy and we will continue to do so. America leads the world in climate change and we will continue to do so…” At which point my jaw hit the floor and John Stewart began what I’m sure was a very humorous pot-shot at the President regarding something… of which I have no idea because…. Um… did he just say “America leads the world in climate change and we will continue to do so”?!?!? … i-e-i-e-i … Do … ya-know that that’s not a good thing? When I finally shook it off, the next thing I heard was some reporter asking the President some question regarding analysts’ predictions that the price of gas will reach $4.00/gal. by the end of Spring.

Some time ago I read an excerpt from a blog by a guy who was feeling a bit left out in the cold by the political system because, [and I’m sorry to be paraphrasing again] “I can’t vote Democrat because I have a conscience and I can’t vote Republican because… I can do math.” Okay, personally speaking… f- you on the “conscience” thing, but… FOR REAL… why aren’t more people latching onto the “math” thing? 99 cents to $4.00 in 7 years?!?! You’re not going to try to tell me that’s inflation are you? I know my paycheck hasn’t done that!

By the way… if you’re having trouble deciding whether to vote with your “conscience” or your brain, and you happen to be keeping score, here’s the breakdown: For the first four years of the Bush administration we had, arguably, the most conservative president in our nations history presiding with a Republican House and a Republican Congress… and yet… I can still get an abortion, a wife and a sex change… but what I can’t do is drive my car to work for less than 4x what it USED to cost me 7 years ago. How’s that for math?

And, people, let me point out that when you’re talking about “moral issues”, you’re usually talking about affecting the lives of a very small percentage of the population, whereas the “math” ones… we’re ALL paying for that shit, and that ain’t right.

At the end of the day, when it comes to politics, I generally subscribe to the “3F rule”: Do not F with my Faith, my Family, or my Finances. In other words: Don’t try tell me what to believe, or that I am somehow less of an American if I don’t believe what you believe; DO NOT try to tell me who my family is (i.e. my spouse); and Don’t try to tell me that the economy is all honky-dory when my house is in foreclosure, my gas tank is on “Empty” and CORN-based ethanol is about to drive the price of Cheerios out of my budget.

Okay. I’m done…. … for now.