A little validation goes a long way.
Lately I’ve been getting up at about 4:30 am every morning. I need to be at work at 6 if I’m going to leave by 3. I need to leave by 3 if I’m going to make it to soccer practice in Longmont by 3:45 (I’m assistant coaching the varsity team again). By the time I get home at 7:30 or so, I’m beat. I wolf down some food and crash. Because of this demanding schedule, I’ve felt it difficult to stay connected with my friends. Disconnectedness leads to general unhappiness, and I wonder how long I can sustain this brutal pace.
Last night, in spite of fatigue, I rallied for a beer:30 after practice and met my drinking buddies down at the local watering hole. Hadn’t seen them in a while, and when asked why, I started to tell them about the coaching thing. I don’t think any of them have ever been so interested in anything I’ve said… ever. They were very impressed and basically blew sunshine up my arse for about an hour and a half. That alone made it easier to get out of bed this morning. So there’s that.
My job can be extremely frustrating because I’m the only one in my company who does what it is that I do. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who knows what it is that I do. Consequently, my work goes largely unnoticed, unless something goes wrong, which is what has been happening lately. Changes were made that I was not made aware of. Changes that should have been incorporated into my model, and weren’t. I’ve been getting side-swiped by the fallout. It’s not really my fault, which everyone acknowledges, but still, I am associated with a job that is hemorrhaging money due to mismanagement and my model seems to keep appearing on the screen to illustrate screw-ups. So, once again, I begin to deeply resent my job; that incredible suck-hole of time and energy that brings me little satisfaction. This is stupid. Why am I doing this? I should just quit my job, and find something that is more rewarding.
Today at work I went to a conference that was put on by the local chapter of some big national association of something-or-other at a posh little country club. It was this big todo. An entire ballroom was filled with all these contractors, engineers, architects, owners and government agencies. It was a seminar on Building Information Modeling (BIM), which is basically what I do; 3D modeling of building systems. There were five different speakers, none of whom I had ever met; executives of various varieties with big, fancy titles, and neatly pressed suits. They talked about how BIM has been crucial to the success extremely complex projects. There were a total of three different buildings shown as examples. Two of them were mine. *teehee* Call me vain, but all of a sudden I kind of like my job.
