Today is the last day of my twenties.
Today my friends told me that they would play hooky with me tomorrow and go skiing.
Today my CFO told our Receptionist that she didn’t have enough sick time accrued for her recent absence. A couple of weeks ago she was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance during a heart attack. She didn’t have enough sick time for her heat attack. She will have to use vacation time.
Today my friend called me just as I was thinking about her.
Tomorrow I’ll be thirty.
Hour follows hour like water in a river
And from one to the next we don’t know what each hour will deliver
We just call it like we see it, we call it out loud as we can
Then afterwards we call it all water over the dam.
Maybe the moral high ground isn’t as high as it seems
Maybe we are both good people who’ve done some bad things
I just hope it was okay, I know it wasn’t perfect
I hope in the end we can laugh and say it was all worth it.
Today I’ve felt time like I’ve never felt time before. Today I’ve been older than I should be and younger than I am. I remember, on New Year’s Eve, coming to realize that I live in the now more than I thought I did. I don’t know how I came to that, or why, and I don’t feel that way anymore.
We make our own gravity to give weight to things
I read in my birth chart that I have a tendency to see the world through rose-colored lenses; that the world is not as good as I see it.
Then things fall and they break and gravity sings.
I think that it’s true, and I notice it happening, and I try to stop it now, and see the world for what it really is. But yesterday I heard that all but one survived, and today they said it was all a lie and that all but one are dead, and I want my rose-colored lenses back.
We can only hold so much is what I figure
And then I think that maybe I do see the world for what it really is, and that it’s just myself that I don’t see; maybe not at all…. And somehow all the hard things that happen all around every day are easier to see; easier to handle than all the hard stuff that I neglect and put off inside and about me. Because last I checked I was 23 and I had plenty of time to make all my dreams come true because I had my whole life ahead of me and today I thought … I thought it for the first time… I thought, “Tomorrow is ALWAYS tomorrow. Putting it off until tomorrow puts it forever away.”
We try and keep our eye on the big picture and it keeps getting bigger.
What can I do?
